More adventures in motherhood

Don't judge me... I know it's disgusting, but I haven't showered in almost a week. This is because

A) I'm flat out too tired.
B) Cleanliness is the last thing on my mind right now
C) Standing is about as comfortable as walking barefoot through gravel

And there are my excuses, but even I know it's time to shower when not even pulling my hair up can hide the "glossy shimmer" and a hat is my only option. So I showered. But Daddy wasn't home, and Grayson doesn't take naps so I had one option. He had to shower with me.

Here is my experience:

Grayson cried because he didn't like the water on his head... not in his face, just on the top of his head. As I shampooed, Grayson quickly nestled his back against the back of legs, so my rear end (which as we know has put on enough weight this pregnancy to act as a perfect umbrella) would shelter him. But while he was blissfully comfortable, I couldn't move or else I would knock over Grayson, or heaven forbid allow a few drops of water to wet his hair. So instead, I nearly drowned because my face was stuck right in the stream of water.

Toward the end, Grayson finally mustered the courage to stand, so in that moment I reached for the conditioner. In a tub full of bath toys (that could even keep me entertained) Grayson found joy in doing one thing: using my hiney as a set of drums. And he drummed... and drummed... and drummed. (I didn't realize my back end was so multi-functional.) As soon as the conditioner was rinsed out I hurriedly turned off the water and practically dove out of the bathroom.

Thus ended my first and LAST attempt to shower with my son.

But I learned something amidst this whole traumatizing ordeal... I think I will stick with wearing hats.

My poem

(I jotted this down at the doctor's office yesterday... if you can't tell, it was inspired by my wardrobe)

HELLO PEANUT BUTTER

Today I tried my hardest,
A fine look to achieve;
Coiffed hair, clean clothes, and make up…
But there’s peanut butter on my sleeve.

I just needed to do some shopping,
A quick run to the store,
But my child had it in his mind
We needed to do a little bit more.

I ran past an elegant woman
A true image of perfection,
With my hair flying out of place
As I chased my son in every direction.

They never tell you when motherhood starts,
The things you’re giving up.
Say “goodbye” to easy livin’,
And “Hello” to wearing lunch.

“Hello” to all those sleepless nights,
whining, “No!” Mine!” and “More!”
“Hello” to painful wounded feet
from stepping on those toys on the floor.

“Hello” to food smeared on the walls
and stains on all my clothes.
Goodbye to lids, toy parts, and keys,
Where they go… Nobody knows!

“Hello” to loves and snuggles,
giggling and constant fun,
dinner, bath time, family prayer,
and kisses when the day is done.

Goodbye to that elegant lady;
The one I passed as I ran down the street.
The one with jewels and Hollywood looks
And designer shoes on her feet.

I don’t wear fancy perfume
And I don’t own expensive clothes,
But the pearls of joy I string each day
Are more priceless than she knows.

Here I walk hand in hand with my child,
And really that’s all that I need.
Because I am a Mommy and I…
Am proud of the peanut butter on my sleeve.