More adventures in motherhood

Don't judge me... I know it's disgusting, but I haven't showered in almost a week. This is because

A) I'm flat out too tired.
B) Cleanliness is the last thing on my mind right now
C) Standing is about as comfortable as walking barefoot through gravel

And there are my excuses, but even I know it's time to shower when not even pulling my hair up can hide the "glossy shimmer" and a hat is my only option. So I showered. But Daddy wasn't home, and Grayson doesn't take naps so I had one option. He had to shower with me.

Here is my experience:

Grayson cried because he didn't like the water on his head... not in his face, just on the top of his head. As I shampooed, Grayson quickly nestled his back against the back of legs, so my rear end (which as we know has put on enough weight this pregnancy to act as a perfect umbrella) would shelter him. But while he was blissfully comfortable, I couldn't move or else I would knock over Grayson, or heaven forbid allow a few drops of water to wet his hair. So instead, I nearly drowned because my face was stuck right in the stream of water.

Toward the end, Grayson finally mustered the courage to stand, so in that moment I reached for the conditioner. In a tub full of bath toys (that could even keep me entertained) Grayson found joy in doing one thing: using my hiney as a set of drums. And he drummed... and drummed... and drummed. (I didn't realize my back end was so multi-functional.) As soon as the conditioner was rinsed out I hurriedly turned off the water and practically dove out of the bathroom.

Thus ended my first and LAST attempt to shower with my son.

But I learned something amidst this whole traumatizing ordeal... I think I will stick with wearing hats.

My poem

(I jotted this down at the doctor's office yesterday... if you can't tell, it was inspired by my wardrobe)

HELLO PEANUT BUTTER

Today I tried my hardest,
A fine look to achieve;
Coiffed hair, clean clothes, and make up…
But there’s peanut butter on my sleeve.

I just needed to do some shopping,
A quick run to the store,
But my child had it in his mind
We needed to do a little bit more.

I ran past an elegant woman
A true image of perfection,
With my hair flying out of place
As I chased my son in every direction.

They never tell you when motherhood starts,
The things you’re giving up.
Say “goodbye” to easy livin’,
And “Hello” to wearing lunch.

“Hello” to all those sleepless nights,
whining, “No!” Mine!” and “More!”
“Hello” to painful wounded feet
from stepping on those toys on the floor.

“Hello” to food smeared on the walls
and stains on all my clothes.
Goodbye to lids, toy parts, and keys,
Where they go… Nobody knows!

“Hello” to loves and snuggles,
giggling and constant fun,
dinner, bath time, family prayer,
and kisses when the day is done.

Goodbye to that elegant lady;
The one I passed as I ran down the street.
The one with jewels and Hollywood looks
And designer shoes on her feet.

I don’t wear fancy perfume
And I don’t own expensive clothes,
But the pearls of joy I string each day
Are more priceless than she knows.

Here I walk hand in hand with my child,
And really that’s all that I need.
Because I am a Mommy and I…
Am proud of the peanut butter on my sleeve.

Growing up....

In these past few weeks, Grayson has decided to grow up. He has officially retired his crib and only sleeps in his "Big Boy" bed (a twin mattress on the floor). Because of this new transition, he has also decided ONE WEEK BEFORE I HAVE ANOTHER BABY that he no longer needs to take naps!!! This is the worst stage he could possibly hit RIGHT NOW, but oh well... at least I have one week to adjust.

Grayson has also decided that he wants to go potty on the potty. Whenever he walks past the bathroom, he sees that gleaming porcelein reminder that "Hey, I don't have to wear pants!" and immediately strips down. (I don't think his desire to potty train has anything to do with going to the bathroom!) So, I spend my days with a clothes-less child (See video below). The other day he walked into my room while stripping off his diaper. I was still in bed, but attempted to talk him into keeping it on. He just looked at me and ripped it off. (Grayson loves to dance naked and combined with his speed and talent of ripping off a diaper, I'm beginning to worry about future career paths.)

Then I tried sweet-talking him into going to sit on the potty without my assistance (a desperate attempt to get five minutes more of rest). Grayson smiled at me sweetly as if he understood exactly what I was asking...

then peed in the garbage can.




...At least he has good aim.

Crazy kid!

This kid won't stop dancing for anything!

Our love food.

Last time I was pregnant I mentioned to my husband that I really wanted some doughnuts. The next day, he came home for lunch with his hand tucked behind his back and I was sooooooooooooo excited that my hubby would bring me flowers... until he unveiled the bag of doughnuts behind his back. Then I was mad. I wanted flowers. (Now, I can see how wonderful he was for listening to me, though. Don't judge me!)

Tonight I was in a bit of a sour mood because we had to cut our shopping trip short because of our whiney little boy. We stopped at Albertsons to buy bread and I sent Barry in by himself, because I was not going to try lugging Mr. Cranky-pants into another store. When Barry got back in the car, he surprised me with doughnuts. My favorite kinds of doughnuts. This time I didn't get mad.

So here I am eating my chocolate and maple covered doughnuts, and I realized something. I'd rather have doughnuts over flowers any day. Thank you husband... I love you.

And I. Love. Doughnuts.

Life....

When I was a senior in High School I was in a show called "Harvey" and our cast became close as family. We spent almost every night hanging out, including this tiny short little redheaded freshman boy. He was so full of life, and fun, and obnoxious because he wanted to be like all of us "cool" seniors.

I ran into him a year after I graduated and he was completely different... just running around the wrong crowd.

And I just found out yesterday that he died... something involving alcohol.

About the time I found out about my little freshman, I found out one of dearest friends is getting baptized.

She couldn't be happier and her outlook on life is so positive.

It just amazes me to see where our choices can take us.

Dear Marilynn....

My mother-in-law had six kids and I have a question for her.

"HOW IN THE HECK DID YOU DO IT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

Don't get me wrong. I was EXTREMELY excited to have a second baby... then I got scared... then I got really scared... and now I'm starting to get excited again. But PREGNANCY... if I didn't love kids so much I would announce to the world right now:

"I'M FINISHED!!! NO MORE KIDS FOR THIS FAMILY!!!"

Here are my excuses:
Morning sickness, not wanting to eat anything but peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, the painful carpal tunnels I get only when pregnant, swollen feet and hands, itchy belly, waking up every 20 minutes just to roll over, extreme exhaustion, terrible anemia, back pain, pubic bone stretching pain, constipation, crying ALL the time, wishing Grayson would just sleep all day, the way it hurts just to pick Grayson up, the waddling, the way I get nauseous when I kiss my husband, the excess 40 lbs. that always find their way solely to my rear end....

It gets old.

But it's almost over.

Until next time....