Saturday, October 3, 2009

More adventures in motherhood

Don't judge me... I know it's disgusting, but I haven't showered in almost a week. This is because

A) I'm flat out too tired.
B) Cleanliness is the last thing on my mind right now
C) Standing is about as comfortable as walking barefoot through gravel

And there are my excuses, but even I know it's time to shower when not even pulling my hair up can hide the "glossy shimmer" and a hat is my only option. So I showered. But Daddy wasn't home, and Grayson doesn't take naps so I had one option. He had to shower with me.

Here is my experience:

Grayson cried because he didn't like the water on his head... not in his face, just on the top of his head. As I shampooed, Grayson quickly nestled his back against the back of legs, so my rear end (which as we know has put on enough weight this pregnancy to act as a perfect umbrella) would shelter him. But while he was blissfully comfortable, I couldn't move or else I would knock over Grayson, or heaven forbid allow a few drops of water to wet his hair. So instead, I nearly drowned because my face was stuck right in the stream of water.

Toward the end, Grayson finally mustered the courage to stand, so in that moment I reached for the conditioner. In a tub full of bath toys (that could even keep me entertained) Grayson found joy in doing one thing: using my hiney as a set of drums. And he drummed... and drummed... and drummed. (I didn't realize my back end was so multi-functional.) As soon as the conditioner was rinsed out I hurriedly turned off the water and practically dove out of the bathroom.

Thus ended my first and LAST attempt to shower with my son.

But I learned something amidst this whole traumatizing ordeal... I think I will stick with wearing hats.

4 comments:

Emily said...

You make Branch and I laugh so hard. I love it and I love you! You are a great mother and hey, at least you tried!!

**Hopefully this will make you laugh too. Whenever Little Miss is on the couch I always say "Sit Down Maya!" and lately if she is anywhere near the chair or the couch you can hear her say "Sit down Maya!" or my new favorite is she is very nice and says please and thank you. Lately when i say "Say Thank You Maya" ...she does she says "Thank you Maya!!" Kids are hilarious!

Cherry said...

HA HA HA! That sounds like me when Carter showers with me! YAY! I love it! You crack me up!!!! :)

Anonymous said...

This is pretty funny! Kason has been showering with me since he could walk haha. Its my lazy way of not having to bathe him! So he actually really loves it! Hope you have your baby soon.

Christina said...

As hilarious as this story is - please call me next time. I am more than happy to come watch Grayson for you.