My Sacred Charge.

Nearly three years ago, I suffered. I suffered immense pain, misery, insomnia, near-bulemia, and more pain and misery. But it was for a good cause, one which I fully intend to hold as a bargaining chip during my son's teenaged life. I chose to suffer so I could experience the greatest, sweetest, and most rewarding joy life has to offer: Motherhood.

I remember the day so vividly when the doctor placed a little swaddled infant in my arms. His intensely dark eyes stared into mine, and I basked in the joy of this beautiful creation of mine. I accepted the sacred charge of taking care of this helpless being. I knew I would cling to this moment forever, along with all the wonderful memories, this little angel and I would build together.

Earlier this week, Grayson developed an ear infection. The kind with the sore throat, coughing, runny nose, high fever, etc. I have felt utterly helpless as my sweet little angel suffered through his pain. At the height of his fever (102.7 degrees), he awoke from a nap crying and I ran to him. Carrying him to the couch, I pictured my loving sweet infant baby from two and a half years ago, and sat down. I craddled him in my lap and wrapped my arms around him, reliving that first moment we met.

Until he shouted, "STOP!!!! I WANT DAAAAAAAAADDY!"

And peeled my arms away.

And jumped out of my lap.

And punched me in the gut. (Metaphorically speaking).

Nine months of misery and woe, four hours of hard, hard labor, a lifetime of worry and stress, and that's the thanks I get!?

Ahhh... Motherhood.