Dear World, What's wrong with you?!?!

    I fell upon this blog called, “Mocha Dad”. Don’t ask me how I found it, I’m not even sure why I started reading it. But this blogger’s mission is to break the stereotypes for African American fathers and show how involved he is in the lives of his children- his words, not mine. This dad read an article about how, statistically, married couples who DON’T have kids are happier than those who DO have kids. Mocha Dad didn’t agree with the article, although he did admit that parenting isn’t always a happy route, but opened his blog up to discussion. I was pretty horrified with the comments, although I should be used to the views of the world by now. Here is one such comment:



     “All you "I wouldn't change a thing" parents are missing the point. What's important here is that a growing body of research shows that you are not as happy as you think you are. It's hard for you to see this because you lack perspective; you made the irreversible choice and now you have to tell yourself it's good. It's like having a bad tattoo. Those of us without kids experience higher levels of happiness for a more sustained period of time... our whole lives. If you don't tell yourself that "it was all worth it" you will be depressed. It's an illusion that you must maintain to justify the years of hard work it took to raise your kids.


     And another thing... most people that choose not to have kids are not fearful of their parenting abilities nor do they come from single-parent homes, at least not any more than those of you that do have kids. They simply know a path to lifelong happiness when they see one and don't crumble to long-standing generational pressures to continue lineage. So get off your high horses, moms and dads of the world. You're no great martyrs. You are empiracally less happy than those without kids, but you'll never understand why because your lives have been narrowed by the demands of child rearing.”


     Really?!? Is the decision to have kids really based on such selfish reasons? I don’t feel very happy about 60% of the day with my kids. I’m cleaning up messes, wiping bums, kissing boo-boos, refereeing fights… it’s messy business. But I am also learning humility,strength, compassion, charity, patience, sympathy, and most of all, love. I feel like in the end, I will be a much greater person than a childless version of myself could ever become. So the article may be right, I might not be as happy (at times) than those who chose not to “continue their lineage”, but in the end I believe I will find more satisfaction with myself than the childless could ever dream.

(For the record, my thoughts only apply to those married couples CHOOSING not to ever have kids. I understand that some couples can’t have kids and I believe those trials will make you just as strong as raising children.)