Friday, February 29, 2008

Thursdays... sigh.

If you are married, then you know how important “Man time” is. That time designated for the sole purpose of boosting testosterone with other men. Barry’s “Man time” is also called “Church Ball” and it occurs every Thursday night. Weeks ago, he asked permission to attend this weekly hormonal ritual and I happily agreed. Needless to say, Thursdays are my least favorite day of the week. Barry works from 8-5, has class from 5:30-7 and then basketball from 7 to 9ish. This is the one day where I am all alone, so by 9 pm I am completely frazzled, but I try to pretend like I still enjoy this fourth day of the week for Barry’s sake. Last night, however, is a different story.
As stated, Barry usually gets home around 9, but this was not so last night. Grayson was very cranky so I was already a little high strung, so as 9:30 rolled around I started thinking some very aggravated thoughts. I had a huge speech prepared for the moment he walked in the door… but then my mind wandered back to our Relief Society lesson this last Sunday which was entitled “Be Slow to Anger”. As I thought about the lesson, my huge speech eased into a mean look, then to a sarcastic joke (tinged with frustration), then to an eye-roll, and slowly it morphed into a hug and a kiss at the door. I decided that I was going to be slow to anger.
As I was thinking these happy thoughts, I got a phone call… our car broke down. (Happy thoughts? What are those?) I was so frustrated about the car, that as I was driving to pick up my husband (around 10), my hug and a kiss morphed into an eye-roll, a sarcastic joke, a mean look, all the way back to a big lecture. Although “The car wouldn’t have broken down if you would have come home on time!” didn’t sound like a very reasonable argument; I settled for the silent treatment. I just “hmmphed” and sighed whenever my husband tried to talk as we made our way back home in silent tension.
Somewhere along Mesa Street, we passed a daycare, and on its billboard in bright letters was “Jesus Loves You”. For some reason, this struck me… one of those “Ah-ha moments”. My conscience said, “Krystle, what are you doing?” I realized that I had completely forgotten about being slow to anger and instead brought the wrong kind of spirit into the remainder of our evening. I was disappointed in myself and after a few moments, changed my attitude. The night ended with that hug and kiss I had planned on, and I am so grateful that I got that little reminder: Jesus loves You.

No comments: