The World's view

Barry and I are attending a “Marriage and Family” class at church and we are absolutely loving it! The class has sparked so many discussions between us and it has truly been a blessing. This last Sunday, the lesson was on children and our teacher said that there is a huge depression rate of women in Utah. One of the older men in the class raised his hand and said that he knew why that was. He then went on to say that women in the church are highly educated but then don’t do anything about it because they all become “baby-makers”. For the most part, he was making a sarcastic joke, but the statement really got me upset. This is the view of the world, that in order for women to be equal to men, we have to go get a big career and leave the home. I don’t have a problem with women who work, but I do have a problem with this viewpoint. I feel like God created us to have different roles. He intended for women to be the nurturers, the men to be the providers. Studies have proven that children who are raised in daycare have more behavioral problems than those who spend more time with parents. Studies have proven that “latchkey” kids are more likely to drink and make other HUGE mistakes in those hours after school when they are home alone because both parents are at work. These are not LDS studies, but scientific studies. PROOF of where a woman SHOULD be. That place is at home. I can’t imagine how I would have turned out if my Mother had chosen to work instead of be there at home for us. I can’t imagine missing those milestones of my son, seeing him roll over for the first time, scoot for the first time, or miss milestones in the future. I can’t imagine some babysitter witnessing all of those miracles in place of myself.
Today my visiting teachers came over and we were discussing this, and one of them said she didn’t believe that the depression of women came from being mothers, but from the pressure we put on ourselves to be “The Best”. We feel like we have to be exceptional mothers, teachers, chefs, cleaners, lovers, etc. Well with a mindset like that, ANYONE would get depressed. The Relief Society president Julie B. Beck said that we as members should be the best at families, but I feel what she meant is that we should recognize that it is important to be there for our children, to raise them up In the gospel, to teach them who they are. I believe she meant we have to find the best for ourselves, not “everyone’s best”. I am grateful that my husband and I decided together that I should stay home as a mother, even if there are times when I wish that I could be somewhere else, I know that it is the right place, and the “best” for our family.